The Quiet Loneliness of Growing Up

It’s so weird, being in your twenties. Especially when it comes to friendships.

You used to see each other every week and sometimes even (almost) every day. I have these two best friends that I got to know in high school, and we literally saw each other every single day. Now? That has definitely changed.

Even during college and university, we still had the chance to hang out basically every week. We studied together, went for drinks together, got food and snacks together, and somehow there was always time. Or at least it felt like there was.

Then I graduated and got my first job while most of my friends were still studying. That’s when things started feeling… lonely. Almost like FOMO, in a way. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful I graduated and I’m done with that hellhole. But something inside me kept telling me I was missing out. And then I realized I wasn’t missing the studying at all. I was missing the being together. The random Tuesday afternoons. The “want to grab coffee?” texts. The doing absolutely nothing with the people I care about. That’s what I missed. And still miss, like a lot.

I have to travel a lot for work, so I go to bed early and wake up early. Even when I do want to see my friends, it’s basically impossible for five days out of the week. And the weekend? I want to do something so badly, but my God… I also just want to rest.

Do you relate to this? Is this something that passes, or is this just what adulthood is?

I don’t usually get FOMO, I’m an introvert through and through. Yet somehow I still feel like I’m missing out on my “young twenties,” as older people love to call them. More of my friends are graduating now, so maybe they’re feeling the same thing too. I actually don’t know. We haven’t had that conversation yet.

But when did we get here? When did we become the people who are always busy, always tired, and somehow never have the time, or the energy to see the people we love?

It’s such a weird transition. One I never thought I’d have to make. I seriously don’t know. I really don’t know.

So tell me: how do you make it work? How do you keep seeing your friends and family when everyone is working, studying, traveling, or just completely drained all the time?

ꨄ︎ M.